Sugar & Justin's Story: Finding Love After Divorce in Her 40s
Sugar & Justin
Divorced after ten years of marriage and convinced her rigid dating rules were the only way to protect herself, Sugar had to loosen her grip before she could let the right person in. In her own words: "A little backstory on me — I'm an identical twin, and my grandfather nicknamed my sister and I 'Sugar and Spice.' Spice and I are best friends, went to college together, and we both married men we met at Purdue University. Spice's husband Ken is one of the greatest men I know, but let's just say I didn't get as lucky — I was married for ten years and went through a heartbreaking divorce."
"I guess you could say there was something like a 'perfect storm' in my life. After the Covid lockdown, I had a family member facing a medical crisis, a friend was looking to hire a matchmaker, and I realized I wanted to share the life I love with a special plus-one. I knew it was time to get my mojo back — now the question was how." That's when she found Bela and Smart Dating Academy and started a full year of date coaching, mainly with Ilene.
"Truth be told, it was a slow start for me. My divorce nine years earlier had really done a number on my self-confidence, and I didn't think I'd find anyone. Ilene helped me realize I friend-zone everyone. My stubbornness held me back too — I lived in the city, and I had very rigid rules before SDA: I kept my search radius to 1–3 miles, never replied to a one-liner, never made the first move, and definitely wasn't 'psychotically optimistic.'"
Turning Point
The turning point came listening to one of Bela's Instagram Lives with a former client who had found love later in life. "That's when something clicked in my head. I always thought men my age would never want to date anyone their age — they'd always prefer younger women. That day, I adjusted my search parameters to look for a wider range of ages."
DATING “FUN”-NEL
As she built her dating funnel and started meeting more people, Sugar found Justin on Facebook Dating. "His profile was so refreshing and nice, and one of his photos was him flying a plane. His first message showed me he'd actually read my profile, and he told me he's an identical twin himself. But he lives in Wisconsin — 100 miles from downtown Chicago. Yes, I changed my location preference." They video-chatted, talked every day, and met in person for the first time on his birthday, Halloween — spending over four hours together on their first date.
IT ONLY TAKES ONE…..
"Not only is he the lid to my pot, and a twin himself, but we both love desserts, we both don't drink, and he loves Disney more than I do. He's met so many of my friends, and even my brother says he can 'hang.'" Today, even with Justin's pilot training taking him out of state for up to three years, Sugar and Justin are navigating it together — proof that with the right foundation, distance is just a logistics problem, not a dealbreaker.
If you want to listen to Sugar’s podcast episode, click HERE.