Kathy's Story: Finding Love After Betrayal and Divorce

Kathy & Ruben

This is the story of Kathy and Ruben — told in Kathy's own words — proof that betrayal after decades of marriage doesn't have to be the end of the story. It can be the beginning of an even better one, with the right guidance.
And, if you want to listen to the whole podcast episode, click HERE

The Beginning…

I was a stay-at-home mom, taking care of my husband and two children, and I was married for 42 years. About 10 years ago, my husband was traveling a lot for work. It was Mother's Day, and I thought I'd fly out and surprise him — and the surprise was on me when his girlfriend answered the door. I was left with $400, and he took my legs out from under me. I had to borrow money from my daughter to hire a divorce attorney and started walking through the tunnel of divorce. It was excruciating, and yet I persevered, and every day I grew stronger and more resilient. I was not going to curl up in a corner and die. I knew I had to be a role model for my daughter and grandchildren, and I became a new person.

The Decision

I dated on and off for about nine years after the divorce, but just kept missing the mark. I started following Bela when she was on the Steve Harvey Show, and during Covid, I started attending her Instagram Lives and getting inspired by Smart Dating Academy's 'psychotic optimism.' And then I turned 70, and that made me stop and take stock of myself and my life. I said, 'I'm going to invest in myself,' and when Bela announced the Dating Over 50 Love Lab, I was one of the first to sign up. I live in a rural part of a low-population state, and I couldn't wrap my arms around how I was going to meet someone. But Bela always said, 'A man who wants to be with you will go cross-country for you,' so I thought I'd give it a shot.

..it was a “when” not an “if”…

Best decision I've made — my life has changed. I did the Love Lab, and I was so inspired that I enlisted their help for 12 months of coaching after that. I flew to Chicago and did a photo shoot that made me look as awesome as I am. Bela and Ilene gave me lots of advice, and I listened to everything they told me to do. I started tweaking everything — they told me to adjust my mindset, and I did. I stopped searching for what I thought I 'wanted' in my dream man and focused on my 'High GHQ guy,' as Bela and Ilene taught me. I changed my search radius, and surprisingly, they told me to include younger men too. And in walked Ruben — 2.5 hours (hundreds of miles) away from me.

We video dated many times and got to know each other deeply before meeting in person. I knew he was someone special. The first time we met, he brought me yellow roses for friendship — and after we fell in love, the roses became red. He's so attentive and wonderful, and he makes me feel smart, something I never felt in my marriage. He asked my daughter for her blessing before asking me to move in with him, and we're planning a commitment ceremony soon. He saw me at my worst when I needed a hip replacement, and he insisted on taking care of me.

Finding The “One”

Here's what I'll tell you, and I'll scream it from the mountaintops: do the Dating Over 50 Love Lab. Listen to Bela, Ilene, and Lindsay. Do what they tell you to do, and it might not happen right away, but keep doing it and it works. I'm living proof, and I hope my story inspires you, because I never thought it could happen to me. I'm happier than I've ever been.