Nancy and David
Nancy Hala and David Bruce - The Love Story
How we met
In my heart of hearts, I believe that the universal forces of love and happiness brought me to Bela and Smart Dating Academy…but it was actually my friend and podcast co-host Sheri Salata who first introduced Bela to me. Sheri had the brilliant idea of bringing Bela on our podcast, “The Sheri and Nancy Show” as our resident dating expert. Our show was all about how two life-long friends in our mid 50s were trying to live the lives of our dreams. Sheri's idea was that I would be thrown into the world of online dating to find TRUE LOVE, and then talk about it on the podcast… and I was totally game. I had no idea what to expect when I flew from LA, where I was living at the time, to Chicago to meet Bela and her team.
It was a whirlwind summer weekend. “Bring many different outfits,” Bela told me over the phone, so I packed everything I could think of in two huge suitcases, dragged my ultra cool friend Marie with me, and away we went. The moment I met Bela, I fell into friendship-love. She was everything a dating coach should be – bursting with optimism and an unwavering belief that I would find my soulmate. From the makeup (“You’re putting on a bright, bold lip! Men are attracted to color!”) to the photo shoot (hundreds of shots in 100 degree Chicago heat), to the in-depth meeting at the Four Seasons with Bela and dating coach Lindsay, where we unraveled my decades-old history of always dating the wrong guy and how I could break the cycle – all of it was amazing. And transformative, as you’ll soon see.
About one year after working with Bela and her team, I moved from LA to Seattle. My online dating profile was fabulous, my photos were on point, I was coached and ready to go…but first I took a detour to heartbreak town.
I went home to Cleveland, Ohio to visit my family and unexpectedly met up with an Old Flame from high school. Not just any Flame, this guy was my first love – literally the template for the men I’ve dated all my life. The class clown, bad boy, sports star, and dreamboat all wrapped up into one. He was the guy who dated all my friends, but never me. Now here we were in our mid 50s, and as he swept me off my feet I thought, “Oh my god, maybe this is my love story. This is my happy ending.”
In an instant I was back into bad habits – dating the flashy narcissist who love-bombed me, with all the drama, tension, and highs and lows that come with it. Even though we fought constantly, within weeks he was making plans to move in and get married. It was insane and impossible. Whenever I was alone, I would sit and read through my Smart Dating Academy folder, looking at my list of red flags (he had all of them) and Good Husband Qualities (he had none of them). I knew I was on the wrong path and I heard Bela’s voice in my head, and through our coaching calls, telling me to wake up.
So I pulled myself together and broke up with the Old Flame. A few months later, I was back online in Seattle, tentatively making a date here and there, when he texted me out of the blue, ”Just to say hi, how are you.” I answered with a brief but kind message. A second later, he bombed me with his good news – he was in a sexy new relationship, hanging out with all my high school girlfriends, having the time of his life, never better. It was a note meant to hurt me, and it did, but mostly because the behavior was so familiar I practically saw it coming. It dawned on me that I played a key role in these bad relationships: I let them happen.
So I sat down in my empty house and said these words out loud to no one but me – “If you want a different love story, you have to look for a different kind of man.”
When we met
One hour after reading the Old Flame’s text, I realized I had a Hinge date scheduled that night at a little Italian restaurant down the street from where I lived. As the universe would conspire, I had a call with Bela right before I left the house. A date was the last thing in the world I wanted to do at that moment, but bolstered by my talk with my dating fairy godmother, I put on my berry lip (yes, I’m devoted to the SDA “Berry Lip” and if you don’t know about it, you need to ask Bela), fluffed out my hair and walked out the door. On my way to the restaurant I thought to myself, “Look for a different kind of man.”
David was there waiting for me. In the course of our conversation, I found out he didn’t live in Seattle at all. He drove in from Bellingham, 90 miles north. That got my interest. Here he was – quiet, almost shy, but funny and smart. And a man who would drive four hours round trip to take a chance on love. He asked questions and wanted to hear my stories. He was confident enough to let the evening unfold slowly and naturally. No big life-of-the-party persona. No love bombing. No crazy talk.
Realizing he had a two-hour drive ahead of him that evening, I asked if he was hungry. And without missing a beat, he said, “I would love to take you to dinner.”
We went to a little bistro around the corner and had the loveliest, calmest, sweetest and dearest first date of my life. Just two adult people talking. Taking it one step at a time. For some of you this may seem like no big deal. For me, it was life changing.
Why we met
I think I met David at that exact moment for one reason: I was finally ready. After a lifetime of guys who either wanted to carry me away or totally reject me, here was someone who just wanted to get to know me. At any other time, our courtship would have seemed too slow. I was addicted to big talk and grand gestures. But when I finally saw how empty those gestures were, this quietly confident, caring man was like a dream come true – truly “High GHQ” as we say at Smart Dating Academy.
And soon enough, I could see David was making plans of his own. At the end of every evening there was mention of a next time – dinner the following week, a hockey game in Vancouver, a whale watching trip in Anacortes. Always something on the horizon, letting me know he was there if I wanted him.
What happened next
On September 18, 2021, David and I were married at my best friend’s house in Cleveland. The tent in her beautiful backyard was filled with flowers, candlelight, music, dancing, friends, family, delicious food, tear-filled toasts, and most of all LOVE. So much love, from all sides. People who knew us and knew what it meant that we found each other. Against all odds, in the middle of life, there we were. Me in a wedding dress, him in a tux. I felt like a princess, and he makes me feel that way every day.
I wanted a different love story. So I opened my eyes and opened my heart and changed my mindset about everything I thought I knew. I looked for a different kind of man. And I found him.
I am so so so glad I went through the Smart Dating Academy process. I found the ‘lid to my pot’
And a forever friend in Bela. I am happy, at ease, and peaceful, in a way I didn’t dream was possible. And, completely and totally in love.
If you want to listen to the podcast episode, click HERE.
Nancy Hala
Brand Strategist, Coach, Writer
I help women in business find their voice, tell their story and build their brand.
Nancyhala.com