Sue and Glen

Sue and Glen

As a recent widow and survivor of multiple failed relationships, I finally got that I had to change; that I could no longer fool myself that I was just picking the wrong men. I embarked on a year-long program of online relationship education, and through that I discovered the Smart Dating Academy. When I felt ready to be in a relationship again, I called Bela and let her talk me into doing her coaching program.

The homework associated with the program was an extension of the work I’d been doing all year and helped me dig even deeper into my patterns. Meeting Bela and Lindsay in person was delightful and I got extremely valuable advice and insights, like “get to know someone before rejecting them” and be especially open to men who are not “my type.” The best advice I think was to look for someone who made me happy (what a concept!)…

And literally two days after putting my profile up on Match.com, I got a message from Glen, who definitely was not my type in terms of looks, interests, or ambitions. However, he made me laugh, and after each online exchange or phone call, I found myself smiling uncontrollably. Being with him was really easy and fun, and he asked me very early on to marry him. I told him I wouldn’t answer that question for at least a year.

A year later I found myself stalling, so did some more soul searching and realized that I had succeeded in accepting him the way he was, but still didn’t accept myself the way I was (bossy, controlling, perfectionistic). Glen is fine with me being like that, and now instead of getting grumpy and defensive I can just laugh at myself and ease up.

We were married after a year and a half, and are having a lovely life. By the way, I attribute my finding “Mr. Right” so quickly to the fact that I was truly ready; I had done all the work on myself and cleared out all the obstacles to success…. or maybe I was just lucky!