A Love Connection Doesn’t Always Mean Instant Fireworks

Why You Shouldn’t Be Too Quick to “Friendzone” After the First Date

“Relationships that flame in seconds won’t always have enough kerosene to tend the fire as the months—even years—go on. ”

Ahh, “friendzoning”—a term used to describe the imaginary place that we often put a potential person of interest in, disputing their affections and treating them only as, you guessed it, a friend. While there may be no such place as a “friendzone,” we are often quick to put those who respect us and show us positive attention in that place. This often occurs after only one date—where we don’t feel a spark or fireworks right away, that magical dance number stirring up inside us—and we’re quick to be onto the next possible option out there.

Why has this become so common? With the modern dating world here to ‘display’ just about every single person surrounding us on our iphones and Androids, we want to feel an instant connection at the click of the keyboard to our fingertips, because we crave a lustful relationship, swift and sharp. Nobody is perfect upon first impression—there is always going to be something we pick apart when being critical. The truth is, your soul mate may not appear seamless the minute you lock eyes for the first time, or impeccable when the night ends and the conversation has begun to die down. That’s the beauty of second chances; you find more the second time around!

When it comes to love, patience is the ultimate key. You know the drill, that “good things come to those who wait” business is cliché, but oh-so-true. Relationships that flame in seconds won’t always have enough kerosene to tend the fire as the months—even years—go on. And love often grows – it doesn’t bowl us over right away. If you’re in doubt, keep dating the person to see if the chemistry will build! If there are no red flags, and you continue to five, six or more dates – you may be pleasantly surprised to have the connection “strike” you when you least expect it!

Are you disappointed with your first dates? Maybe you aren’t finding the best matches. Smart Dating Academy can help! Our Chicago-based dating coaches have helped singles around the country find love! Sign up for our newsletter to get free dating advice delivered to your inbox!