Leaving a voicemail for a woman - think before you speak!

So. You finally got up the guts to call her…or perhaps she even invited you to call her through an email. Problem is – when you call, it goes to voicemail. Ugh. Maybe she's in a meeting, or at her yoga class, or watching an episode of The Real Housewives. Maybe she just didn't recognize your phone number and thought you might be another lousy politician. She’ll have to decide whether to call back after listening to your message. Which is why you need to make sure you leave the right kind of message so she does want to call you!

Before I give you some very simple and EASY pointers – let’s have a listen to a voicemail DON’T.


(Whether this is real does not matter! Just don’t do ANYTHING our boy Dmitri did and you will be in good shape!!)

Here are some voicemail DO’S:

  1. Prepare! In this day and age, when caller-ID is a given, if you are calling a woman for the first time – chances are she won’t recognize your number and won’t answer even if she’s right next to the phone. So figure out what you’ll say before you call and practice!

  2. Brevity is KEY. Short and sweet is the way to go. Don't babble on and on. She’s not going to listen to you hemming and hawing away.

  3. Make it fun! Think about how you met – whether in a bar, or online and mention something about it that shows the connection without saying something like “I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m that guy who emailed you yesterday and yeah, you may not remember me but I said something about my dog and yeah, call me back if you want to…” Instead, show some confidence. Try this: “Hi Sarah! It’s Jake. It was great to get your email. I haven’t tried Japonais yet – but I’ve been dying to. Call me! Being a newbie to sushi, I’d love some other recommendations! My number is 123-4567” She will want to call you back after an upbeat, positive message like this.

  4. BREATHE. Get yourself to relax before the beep. You know what to say – now just do it!

  5. Don’t forget the phone number part! As in the above sample – make sure you remember to give her your name AND number. Even though caller-ID is practically a given today – better safe than sorry

  6. Keep it upbeat! Just make an effort to be smiling when you leave the message – even if she can’t see it, a smile is evident in your voice.

  7. Uh – make sure to disconnect! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve left messages for people and then thought I had hung up, and immediately started saying something that she probably didn’t need to hear.

  8. And that should do it! Just one final point - if you have to leave a voicemail then make sure you only leave one -- two or more might ring her “stalker” alarm. Let her miss you a little!