Getting Your Dating Profile in SHAPE!

Online dating is important, and getting more critical year over year.  With endless sites and apps out there, nearly 1 in 3 marriages now take place because of online connections!  Match’s online membership increases by almost 60% until mid-Feb, and let’s assume that most other sites have similar spikes!

So, to get ready for this amazing new wave of people getting online, start by dusting off your old profile, or sitting down to create one from scratch. Your should think of your online profile as your personal advertisement in cyberspace.  You are competing against millions of other great singles, so you really need to make it stand out.  In real life we have up to five minutes to make a good first impression – in online dating, you have three seconds, max!    Here are ten easy tips to get your profile into fighting shape for 2016!

Psychotic Optimism – Mindset Boost!

Love exists for every person on the planet that wants it and is willing to do something about it.  If the words online dating bring a churn to your stomach, you need a mindset shift.  If you think online dating won’t work, guess what? That attitude will mean it probably won’t. You’ll think that everyone you’ll meet is a fraud, not good enough, a liar, etc. – and end the date before it begins.   You need to transform your mindset into one that is psychotically optimistic! That means believing in your gut of guts that love exists for you – and you are on a mission to find it.  You’re ‘in it to win it’ – and won’t hang up your gloves after a bad date or dry spell.   Recent statistics show that one in three marriages stem from online connections – be psychotically optimistic that YOU will be one of those!  Build a positive dating village around you.

Show, don’t tell.  

Don’t just tell people you like a night out on the town. Show them what you do when you go out – like, “You’ll find me singing “Livin’ on a Prayer” at live karaoke night” or “I’m trying to find the perfect taco in Chicago.  Suggestions?”  Be specific and memorable – don’t sound like the 99% of other people online, with generic, hackneyed phrases and lists of adjectives.

Don't Fear Your Soft Side.

People are also looking for a little tinge of the warm fuzzies. Don’t be afraid to show your gentler side, whether you do it by talking about how you’re looking forward to having someone special to watch “Love, Actually!” with on Christmas Eve, or how you just took your nephew to the opening day of the Star Wars film! Showing your warm side adds something special to the profile.

Keep negativity OUT.  

It's all about having fun! Don’t have a list of things you’re NOT looking for.  Do not say, “If you’re looking for a booty call, I’m not your girl.”   Or, “If you’re a gold digger, please keep looking.”   Not many people will respond to negativity – and beware of those that do!

Be Honest.

One of the biggest complaints in online dating is that people lie in their profiles.  Have the confidence and self-awareness to be who you are and not describe someone you think you should be.  Don’t lie about your height, age, or anything.  Bad karma.

Spell-check and grammar check!  

People judge intelligence by the way you write – yes it’s true. Copy the text into Microsoft Word, and run Spell/Grammar check, or have a trusted friend proof-read it!

Pictures are worth 1,000 words – especially in online dating. has reported that people are significantly more likely to look at a profile with a photos.  That being said – there are some basic rules to consider when posting  photos:

Put up CURRENT photos.  

Photos should be no more than one year old, and have 5-6 total photos.

Put up GREAT photos.  

Professional, ‘non-glam shot’ photos are great, or ask a friend to do it!  Your first shot is your headshot (looking directly at the camera, smiling), and the rest can be a mixture of headshots and body shots. Yes, you HAVE to have body shots.  And don’t have the same outfit on in more than one pic!

If you mention a sport/hobby in your profile, put up a picture of you doing it!

Don’t post selfies taken in the mirror.

They're just down-right tacky.

Don’t include pets, other people, kids in your photos.   

This is about you and only you!

Write a Good Note!

Writing dating emails and texts isn’t like writing work memos.   One-word responses won’t do.   Generic cut-and-paste emails won’t do.  Read his profile, greet him by his name (instead of Hey! or Hey You!).   Find something you can connect with / are interested in, write a few fun positive sentences, and end your email with a question.  End with your first name (it’s creepy not to use your first name).

And, don't forget to check out Bela's FREE "Four Commandments to Online Dating," available here!