Although the holidays are supposed to be a time of thankfulness and cheer, many singles struggle with feelings of loneliness and discouragement during the cold months. A past SDA client shares her story in the hopes of inspiring those of us still searching for that special someone!
"As I write this Brian and I have been married one year, forty-one days, and eighteen hours. Last night we went to the lighting of the Christmas tree downtown. Tonight he'll grill a steak for us. Tomorrow we'll take a walk together after work. He loves me and I love him so very much. Two years and six months ago I was positive I'd never find anyone to share my life.
I have experienced a lot of losses in my life and I was a particularly shy and solitary child. I grew up idolizing the loner heroes in books. As an adult I was successful in my career, lived in a great place, and had a supportive sister who is also a friend. But when I went home at night, I was still alone. Over time and after a lot of reflection I decided that being alone wasn't what I really wanted. And that to change it, I would have to change--radically.
I began a major life and attitude makeover--reading books on happiness, relationships, and psychology--and I took action. I began online dating and forced myself to get out there. The process had its ups and downs--mostly okay dates but no one who was right for me. I began to doubt the process and whether there would ever be a positive outcome. It was clear that without accountability to someone else, I would give up. That's when I found Bela. We talked. I dived in--got on a plane, went to Chicago, did a photo shoot, got profile help, expanded my online dating world, and did phone coaching with Bela. I didn't really believe her when she said I would find someone if I persevered, but I listened, bore down, and just did it. It was the second hardest thing I'd ever done. The first was learning to receive love.
In October of 2012, Brian and I "met" online. Soon we had our first date--at an old school Italian restaurant. He was kind, attentive, smart, and handsome--and he liked me. The following April we were engaged, and we were married a year after we met, in October of 2013. He has helped me learn how to accept love. And I cannot express how good that feels.
Advice is easy to give but often hard to follow. I say--this is important--take it seriously. Don't give up--it is in your hands. And that is an opportunity--to create your own future. One that includes a partner who cares for you, supports you, and with whom you can create a life of meaning. Do not give up."
Posted on Mon, December 15, 2014