Tip #3 – Sometimes You Have to Kiss a Lot of Frogs to Find Your Prince
For those of you that read last week’s Tip #2, “Almost Always Give Someone a Second Chance” from last week involving my client” Mandy,” we write this week about a very interesting turn in her relationship.
The theme for this week is Resilience. In the dating world, this means not letting setbacks hold you back (for long anyway!). It also means kissing some frogs along the way. Mandy’s story is good example of being resilient, after kissing a stinky frog.
Mandy is one of the most coachable and motivated people I’ve worked with so far in my career. She is 38 years old, and has never had a serious boyfriend (parents were very strict when she was growing up – and she didn’t really think about dating til her 30s). She is pretty wise and given her background, is fully in agreement with one of my most important pieces of advice.
That crucial advice is NOT to have sex until you’re in an exclusive relationship (a boyfriend/girlfriend title) and emotionally ready.
Even though Mandy and “Keith” [I've changed both their names--hers to protect the innocent and his because I don't want to give him any more attention) became "exclusive" after their 4th date (read Tip #2 for details - he wanted to move fast!), she still wanted to take things slowly physically and really fall in love before "giving it up."
Keith was very well aware that she wanted to take things slowly, and was fine with it until one strange day last week.
Last Thursday, out of nowhere (and over text by the way) Keith started complaining about the fact that they hadn't yet slept together. This was after a meager six dates. He began barraging her with texts at work - texts that turned cruel and mean ("you have too many rules," "guys need sex," "it's clear to me why you've been single for this long - and you always will be").
Not only did Keith violate a key rule in dating: “Respect people’s boundaries,” but he was also harshly critical and mean (two deal breakers) - revealing himself to be a total jackass.
Mandy was smart and ended it quickly with him (also by text thankfully).
For Mandy, sadly, this was really the first time she felt connected to someone in such a long time. She was totally surprised by the turnabout, and was pretty bummed about it over the weekend as you can imagine. However, yesterday morning, she contacted me and said she will "not quit," wants to get back on the horse and refresh her search (spring for new online dating pictures, as hers are almost one year old), and start rolling again. This is a woman who fell hard and fast for Keith—and many other people might have said: "Online dating stinks, and I quit."
Instead, Mandy is taking the road less traveled. She is already dusting off, and getting back on the Match.com journey.
I often say that the only way to ensure being single forever is to do nothing or quit - and sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs [OR JACKASSES] before you find your prince.
Mandy – we salute your resilience, and the good news is that this “Keith Frog” has gotten you one step closer to finding your prince.
Stay tuned for more Mandy adventures — as this perseverant and lovely women continues her quest to find her prince (and kiss some frogs along the way)!
*Original Article Posted at AskAmyDaily*
Posted on Sat, February 18, 2012