AskAmy - Is J Lo Dating Smart?

J-Lo and Casper - Smart Dating?

A reporter from Chicago asked me my opinion on Jennifer Lopez (J Lo) dating Casper Smart, the back-up dancer – who is almost 20 years her junior.     I shook my head, wondering HOW a woman so beautiful, smart, famous, and successful – could date so “not smart” (my day job is to help people to do the opposite – date smart). 

I feel for JLo – Marc Anthony was less than a good husband – for a whole host of reasons.  If memory serves me correctly (which it does), J Lo had tried the back-up dancer thing with Cris Judd exactly 10 years ago (marriage lasted less than one year).   To add insult to injury here, Casper is almost 20 years her junior.   Here are some quotes from a recent edition of People magazine about Casper:“Smart, 24, whose real name is Beau Paul Smart, has racked up a number of speeding and traffic-related charges, including speeding greater than 100 miles per hour and illegal drag racing, according to police records. He was also charged with driving without a valid license in 2004, 2006 and 2007, evading electronic toll charges in 2005 and exceeding maximum speeds of 65 miles per hour in 2004 and 2005.   The dancer has posted a $26,000 bail related to the charges, which are still pending. In March he pled no contest and is scheduled to appear in court on Jan. 5, 2012. But he must complete 10 days of community service before this court date.”As Smart Dating Academy’s daters know, we strongly recommend looking for “High GHQ” men – high in Good Husband Qualities.     Consistent, kind, loyal, reliable, and good partners overall.    Prioritizes you, makes you feel safe and secure.    With that definition in mind, how does young Casper sound to you?      I’d say  ”AAARGHHH!” would be an understatement.     J Lo is treading in dangerous, shark infested waters here, even if she thinks just is just casual, fun, or a “rebound”.   Continuing the same bad dating/relationship patterns, and expecting changes is the definition of dating insanity.     And, it is what it is – but women aren’t very good at flings that involve “the Real McCoy” (sex).    Once the oxytocin gets flowing – we’re hooked in – and that’s how women stay in relationships, even with the wrong men.My advice to J-Lo is to stay out of Casper’s sack (or anyone’s for that matter), heal, take a step back, turn that brilliant brain of hers on, analyze her patterns, and figure out what she needs to be happy in love.  More than ever, J Lo needs to figure out who her High GHQ man is – and pursue him.     I’m thinking (and hoping) that at this rate, Casper will hopefully turn into a friendly ghost – and not failed husband #4  ”