Online Dating Dos and Don’ts from a Relationship Expert
By Andrea Metcalf
Online dating is becoming increasingly popular in our efficiency-obsessed society. Individuals do not want to waste their time with incompatible people, but rather want a quick and easy way to find someone who would be a good match for them. It seems easy enough, but online dating is a bit more complicated than one would think. There are so many questions regarding how much information an individual should share on their profile, and what he or she should do once they have made a connection with someone and are on a first date. Luckily, dating expert Bela Gandhi is able to shed some light on the sticky technological situation.
Gandhi is the founder and President of Smart Dating Academy, one of the country’s top date-coaching firms, and is a highly sought-after relationship expert who has contributed to several magazines and news stations. The Smart Dating Academy helps professionals with relationship coaching as well as image consulting and online dating consulting. Gandhi has been called “The Fairy Godmother of Dating” for her ability to understand people and find what they should “tweak” in order to be more successful in their relationships. Gandhi shared some of her online dating insights, explaining what does and does not work on the online world.
“Online dating is great, because you theoretically can know so much more about a person based on their photos/profiles/answers to questions than you could about someone you met in real life!” Gandhi says. “Sometimes online dating can feel like trying to find a needle in a haystack, but if you enter with the right expectations, and have great photos and a fun profile, it can be really successful.” With the number of dating sites on the rise, it truly seems like there is someone out there for everyone.
Gandhi suggests that individuals have five or six photos of themselves on their online profiles – and only themselves! Gandhi says it is important to look straight at the camera, smile warmly, and dress nicely, for it could really make a big difference to those scrolling quickly through profiles. Another suggestion is to write a profile of about 300-400 words, just long enough to give others a good idea about who you are without being too wordy. “People make split second decisions online…and much of that will be based on what they see and read.” Gandhi says.
When it comes to the actual date, Gandi recommends that individuals pick a fun, lively place to meet for the first time. She says that a good date should be “short and sweet, not epic,” and suggests places like NellCote, RM Champagne Bar, and Café BabaReeba. While there, always be yourself and never try to impress the other person. She also warns individuals not to drink too much, or else they could risk “oversharing” and scaring off their date with too many private details about themselves. Instead, she says to truly listen to what they have to say and tell yourself, “I like him/her!” Gandhi says that dressing well, staying positive, and staying true to yourself are all keys to a smooth first date.
Gandhi’s final key to successful dating is staying fit. “Fitness is so important in dating,” Gandhi says, “When you exercise routinely, you not only look better, but you feel better about yourself. It gives you confidence and also helps you to bring your best self into the date.” You can even get fit together on a date by taking a walk or going on a bike ride together! “If you generate adrenaline together, chances are you’ll feel more attracted [to each other] by the end of the date!” Gandhi says.
Posted on Thu, June 20, 2013
by Bela Gandhi